Garmobzag Nurpoprip Panrawdap is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, effective turtle.

Garmobzag Nurpoprip Panrawdap created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garmobzag Nurpoprip Panrawdap, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Garmobzag Nurpoprip Panrawdap, he will turn you into a frog.

Garmobzag Nurpoprip Panrawdap's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Garmobzag Nurpoprip Panrawdap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never mention great tits.

4. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

5. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.