Jopbabnan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody naga.

Jopbabnan created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbabnan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jopbabnan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jopbabnan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Jopbabnan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six swans approach from the north.

2. Always obey Jopbabnan's priests.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.