Yartcedzig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthinking wolf.

Yartcedzig created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartcedzig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yartcedzig, it will strike you with lightening.

Yartcedzig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Yartcedzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix nuts with oil.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Yartcedzig on top of all buildings.

3. Yartcedzig loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never feed turnips to doves while wearing shoes.

5. Do not travel during autumn.