Witcitfig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, blissful hare.

Witcitfig created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Witcitfig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Witcitfig, he will destroy your home planet.

Witcitfig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Witcitfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never think about planets.

4. You must never eat nuts.

5. Always take life seriously.