Yatbedmetfab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, prudent snail.

Yatbedmetfab created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatbedmetfab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yatbedmetfab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yatbedmetfab's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Yatbedmetfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yatbedmetfab's priests.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Always remove trousers before touching tin.

5. Never gather four moths near doors.