Kamnelsag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, narcissistic walrus.

Kamnelsag created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamnelsag, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kamnelsag, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kamnelsag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kamnelsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near rats while wearing purple corsets and balancing five platinum spheres on your neck.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

4. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

5. Do not stand on grass.