Veenflanveen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid skunk.

Veenflanveen created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenflanveen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Veenflanveen, it will destroy your home solar system.

Veenflanveen's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Veenflanveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Do not covet oxen.