Stercinxem is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful narwhal.

Stercinxem created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Stercinxem, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Stercinxem, she will destroy your home solar system.

Stercinxem's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Stercinxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near voles while wearing indigo hats.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Never cross crossroads at dawn.