Stigcimbomtimlaprut is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish naga.

Stigcimbomtimlaprut created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigcimbomtimlaprut, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stigcimbomtimlaprut, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stigcimbomtimlaprut's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Stigcimbomtimlaprut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

4. Never prepare apples during autumn.

5. Never wear yellow shirts.