Fasbatjap is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking weasel.

Fasbatjap created the planet Venus five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasbatjap, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fasbatjap, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Fasbatjap's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fasbatjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.