Midhamcet Sasloopgar is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, merciless crow.

Midhamcet Sasloopgar created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Midhamcet Sasloopgar, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Midhamcet Sasloopgar, he will make you grow a tail.

Midhamcet Sasloopgar's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Midhamcet Sasloopgar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Midhamcet Sasloopgar.

2. Never mention badgers.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.