Tofsidtof is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate swallow.

Tofsidtof created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofsidtof, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tofsidtof, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tofsidtof's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tofsidtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Always help sick ants.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.