Caphubgan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humane jaguar.

Caphubgan created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Caphubgan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Caphubgan, he will destroy your home solar system.

Caphubgan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Caphubgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Hide from violet seals for they are unholy.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.