Logmetlog Zagbumspag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omniscient cow.

Logmetlog Zagbumspag created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Logmetlog Zagbumspag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Logmetlog Zagbumspag, it will turn you into a duck.

Logmetlog Zagbumspag's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Logmetlog Zagbumspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never sing in winter.

5. Never gather eight seals near doors.