Targhotgilpad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured dolphin.

Targhotgilpad created the Sun eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targhotgilpad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Targhotgilpad, he will torture you forever.

Targhotgilpad's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Targhotgilpad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silver sculptures of Targhotgilpad on top of important buildings.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Do not take Targhotgilpad's name in vain.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never talk about bats.