Bisscumzag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic owl.

Bisscumzag created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bisscumzag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bisscumzag, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bisscumzag's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bisscumzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near moths while wearing cyan rings and balancing three silver spheres on your back.

2. Never feed corn to dolphins while wearing jumpers.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bisscumzag.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Never feed lots of figs to sharks while wearing orange shorts.