Bonkyattlit is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, caring snail.

Bonkyattlit created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Bonkyattlit, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bonkyattlit, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bonkyattlit's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bonkyattlit's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow sharks to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Do not prepare turnips while wearing jumpers.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Fast once a month.