Fadtonkdad Dumlenflam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, uncaring lobster.

Fadtonkdad Dumlenflam created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fadtonkdad Dumlenflam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fadtonkdad Dumlenflam, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fadtonkdad Dumlenflam's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Fadtonkdad Dumlenflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Fadtonkdad Dumlenflam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never mention mites.

5. Do not chop down trees.