Stafbafbarnrag is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, impressive faun.

Stafbafbarnrag created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stafbafbarnrag, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Stafbafbarnrag, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Stafbafbarnrag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Stafbafbarnrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to nematodes while wearing shirts.

2. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

3. Never wear purple shoes on sacred days.

4. Never gather nine sharks near doors.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stafbafbarnrag.