Gessgenjam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, emotional porpoise.

Gessgenjam created the Sunflower Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessgenjam, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gessgenjam, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Gessgenjam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gessgenjam's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never hurt geese.

4. Never paint your arms mauve.

5. Do not prepare rice while filled with anger.