Nurtrigjin is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic camel.

Nurtrigjin created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtrigjin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Nurtrigjin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurtrigjin's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Nurtrigjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Retreat if nine mice approach from the east.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Nurtrigjin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help grasshopers in need.