Listjonman is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring camel.

Listjonman created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Listjonman, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Listjonman, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Listjonman's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Listjonman's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always treat manatees with great respect.

4. Never feed turnips to shrews while wearing scarves.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.