Zagcanlog is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, selfish otter.

Zagcanlog created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagcanlog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zagcanlog, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Zagcanlog's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Zagcanlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to shrews while wearing scarves.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Zagcanlog in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near tapirs while wearing fawn dresses and balancing three carbon spheres on your arms.

5. Do not eat onions.