Mitquattad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring tapir.

Mitquattad created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Mitquattad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitquattad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Mitquattad's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Mitquattad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mitquattad.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Never paint your legs violet.