Mabzimxen is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, merciful pig.

Mabzimxen created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabzimxen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mabzimxen, she will jump up and down on your head.

Mabzimxen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Mabzimxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not hurt gulls.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. You must love Mabzimxen.