Cattalbap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent armadillo.

Cattalbap created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cattalbap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cattalbap, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cattalbap's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Cattalbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven dolphins in a large pit.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

4. Never eat nuts on days of mourning.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.