Kabtenbod is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, generous yak.

Kabtenbod created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Kabtenbod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabtenbod, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kabtenbod's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Kabtenbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt nematodes.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.