Yogmatbess is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying skunk.

Yogmatbess created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogmatbess, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yogmatbess, it will turn you into a mole.

Yogmatbess' most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yogmatbess' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yogmatbess.

2. Never mention pigs.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not commit murder.