Cabbagpib is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, charitable elephant.

Cabbagpib created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabbagpib, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cabbagpib, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cabbagpib's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Cabbagpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always help sick otters.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.