Spagjapwod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, fast armadillo.

Spagjapwod created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagjapwod, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Spagjapwod, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Spagjapwod's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Spagjapwod's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Spagjapwod.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Never feed bread to frogs while wearing dresses.

5. Never wear yellow stockings.