Maphuncit is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, clever whale.

Maphuncit created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Maphuncit, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Maphuncit, she will think nothing of it.

Maphuncit's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Maphuncit's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Maphuncit's priests.

2. Maphuncit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.