Matquafvedpadvedxucrilzim is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, deceitful pigeon.

Matquafvedpadvedxucrilzim created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Matquafvedpadvedxucrilzim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Matquafvedpadvedxucrilzim, she will laugh at you.

Matquafvedpadvedxucrilzim's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Matquafvedpadvedxucrilzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Matquafvedpadvedxucrilzim's priests.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.