Gessrenbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate dolphin.

Gessrenbonk created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessrenbonk, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gessrenbonk, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gessrenbonk's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Gessrenbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven monkeys approach from the east.

2. Always wash your neck before prayer.

3. Never allow horses to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.