Bellnelcen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, dishonourable pig.

Bellnelcen created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bellnelcen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bellnelcen, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Bellnelcen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bellnelcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing east.

2. Always remove shirts before touching iron.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing blue skirts and balancing seven titanium spheres on your chest.

4. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

5. Pray towards the north.