Fomgabfom is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, competent guinea pig.

Fomgabfom created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomgabfom, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fomgabfom, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fomgabfom's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Fomgabfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near sharks while wearing fawn trousers and balancing six titanium spheres on your feet.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fomgabfom.

5. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.