Xemlarngod is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy lizard.

Xemlarngod created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xemlarngod, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xemlarngod, he will boil you in a big pot.

Xemlarngod's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Xemlarngod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Always help sick manatees.

3. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.