Nulpoddud is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring raccoon.

Nulpoddud created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulpoddud, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nulpoddud, she will torture you forever.

Nulpoddud's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nulpoddud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away from green shrews, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.