Kenfumdog Dognigcit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic octopus.

Kenfumdog Dognigcit created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenfumdog Dognigcit, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kenfumdog Dognigcit, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kenfumdog Dognigcit's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Kenfumdog Dognigcit's Holy Commandments

1. Kenfumdog Dognigcit loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Never play with disobedient children.