Jopvoltar Giggovflan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate tortoise.

Jopvoltar Giggovflan created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopvoltar Giggovflan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jopvoltar Giggovflan, it will refuse to believe in you.

Jopvoltar Giggovflan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jopvoltar Giggovflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. Never allow swans to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never talk about optics near pigs while wearing blue jumpers.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. Worship no other gods but Jopvoltar Giggovflan.