Zigjanwip is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, self-assured otter.

Zigjanwip created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigjanwip, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zigjanwip, she will turn you into a tree.

Zigjanwip's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Zigjanwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Never paint your hands red.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not kill nematodes.