Cepyamhak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, irritating wyvern.

Cepyamhak created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepyamhak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cepyamhak, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cepyamhak's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Cepyamhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the south.

4. Worship no other gods but Cepyamhak.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.