Larpbemstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, witty jaguar.

Larpbemstaf created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Larpbemstaf, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larpbemstaf, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Larpbemstaf's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Larpbemstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near moths while wearing gray scarves and balancing seven titanium spheres on your arms.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near eagles while wearing violet corsets.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larpbemstaf.