Funyiknel is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish salamander.

Funyiknel created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funyiknel, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Funyiknel, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Funyiknel's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Funyiknel's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Always look after injured ants.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Do not commit murder.