Fotfarntam is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able mouse.

Fotfarntam created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotfarntam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fotfarntam, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fotfarntam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Fotfarntam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fotfarntam five times a day.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never mix rice with blood.

4. Never skip near cats.

5. Never gather seven monkeys in one place.