Nilbegarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, competent wren.

Nilbegarn created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Nilbegarn, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nilbegarn, he will send minions to preach to you.

Nilbegarn's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Nilbegarn's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing indigo shirts and balancing six copper spheres on your back.