Fotcissfetzigflathotbig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, fussy horse.

Fotcissfetzigflathotbig created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotcissfetzigflathotbig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fotcissfetzigflathotbig, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fotcissfetzigflathotbig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fotcissfetzigflathotbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Do not consume cherries at dawn.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing magenta coats and balancing three silver spheres on your hands.

5. Do not bounce at rivers.