Damwegget is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, sage gorilla.

Damwegget created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damwegget, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Damwegget, he will torture you forever.

Damwegget's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Damwegget's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

4. Never feed lots of limes to grasshopers while wearing brown stockings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.