Mabarpflis is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, duplicitous narwhal.

Mabarpflis created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabarpflis, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Mabarpflis, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Mabarpflis' most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Mabarpflis' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always wear green.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Do not kill sheep.