Konarnlag is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, confident finch.

Konarnlag created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Konarnlag, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Konarnlag, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Konarnlag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Konarnlag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always treat ants with great respect.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Always obey Konarnlag's priests.