Nulqueegfom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, vain lion.

Nulqueegfom created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulqueegfom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nulqueegfom, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nulqueegfom's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nulqueegfom's Holy Commandments

1. Nulqueegfom must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nulqueegfom.

3. Never proclaim while facing south.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.