Bissnabkab Farnjabmap is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-powerful gorilla.

Bissnabkab Farnjabmap created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissnabkab Farnjabmap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bissnabkab Farnjabmap, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bissnabkab Farnjabmap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bissnabkab Farnjabmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. You must never eat peanuts.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Pray towards the north.