Hivquillhit Higsterpid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited donkey.

Hivquillhit Higsterpid created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivquillhit Higsterpid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hivquillhit Higsterpid, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hivquillhit Higsterpid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Hivquillhit Higsterpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Run away from orange snails, for they are unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not covet oxen.