Flymipjipfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional whale.

Flymipjipfoss created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flymipjipfoss, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flymipjipfoss, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flymipjipfoss' most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Flymipjipfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks.

2. Always look after injured porpoises.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.