Bambessvad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless pigeon.

Bambessvad created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bambessvad, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bambessvad, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Bambessvad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bambessvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

3. Worship no other gods but Bambessvad.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always wear plain boots during rituals.