Gatsawceb is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witty unicorn.

Gatsawceb created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatsawceb, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gatsawceb, it will turn you into a plant.

Gatsawceb's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gatsawceb's Holy Commandments

1. Gatsawceb loves pigs, so they must be respected.

2. Never mention rats.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.