Cubfebwik is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous seal.

Cubfebwik created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubfebwik, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cubfebwik, it will not invite you to parties.

Cubfebwik's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cubfebwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think ill of sick seals.

4. Cubfebwik must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.