Gepstighim is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, irritating alligator.

Gepstighim created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepstighim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gepstighim, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gepstighim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gepstighim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon purple earth.

2. Hide from turquoise pigs for they are unholy.

3. Do not prepare turnips while wearing kilts.

4. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

5. Do not fashion tools from nickel.