Himmotflap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane salamander.

Himmotflap created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Himmotflap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Himmotflap, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Himmotflap's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Himmotflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with pink.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Never approach forests carrying clay.

5. Always act with patience.