Nulcumhin Bongubban is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, boastful wombat.

Nulcumhin Bongubban created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Nulcumhin Bongubban, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nulcumhin Bongubban, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Nulcumhin Bongubban's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nulcumhin Bongubban's Holy Commandments

1. Nulcumhin Bongubban loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear fawn ear rings.

4. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

5. Always wear plain boots during rituals.